When else can you cheer and “boo” and munch chocolate in the synagogue? Kids dress in costumes (as do a lot of grown-up kids), we have carnivals, we exchange gifts of food, and we give money to the poor. It’s the day to eat, drink, and be merry!

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Previously on the Babylon Chronicles, we found that Judea had been conquered by the Babylonians. The majority of the Jews, along with their nebbish king, had been taken captive. They were led away, far from their homeland, to try to make a life for themselves among the other 120 some-odd nations that were under the rule of the Babylonian Empire. And, being the tough survivors that they are, they’d managed to do just that. We find them keeping to their own communities, keeping their heads down, and minding their own business.

That’s the back story from the pilot.

The first episode opened in the banquet hall where King Achashverosh, a self-indulgent autocrat, secure in his palace with his harem and his yes-men, was celebrating his three years in power with a huge gala. (By the way, this king is also a bit of a nebbish.) If you remember, Queen Vashti was executed for refusing to obey the (very drunk) king’s order to publicly humiliate herself by dancing naked for all the men at his feast. He should have been joyful in the knowledge that, because of his actions, no woman in the land would again dare disobey her husband. But this brought him no joy. The King was actually unhappy. He realized that he was rather lonely. Perhaps he even felt a little guilty. There was only one way to lift his mood—A new Queen was required. And so he sent his henchmen to find all the beautiful and nubile young women in the land and bring them to the palace so that he could try them all out and choose a new Queen.

Then the story started to get interesting. One of the girls who were “invited” to take part in the beauty pageant was a sweet Yiddishe shayna maidele (pretty Jewish girl) from the capital city of Shushan. Her name was Hadassah and she’d been raised by her cousin, Mordechai, who was a big macher (big shot) in the community. As she was being taken away by the king’s men, Mordechai told Hadassah to go by the Persian name of Esther and to keep her religion and her heritage to herself.

Big reveal

Esther blew all the other beautiful virgins out of the running and was chosen to be the new Queen.

The king was besotted with her beauty, her kind nature, her beauty, her mind, her beauty ...

Mordechai, being a good Jewish papa, started hanging around the palace regularly, to keep an eye on Esther and make sure she was all right.

You hang around a place, you hear things. Mordechai happened to hear a couple of guys talking about a plot to kill the king and usurp the throne. He thought it might be a good idea to warn his niece of the plot against her husband. The guys were busted and the king was super appreciative. For a while. Then he forgot about it.

But, it wasn’t long before Mordechai made an enemy of the wrong guy. The king’s new vizier was a Jew-hating super villain called Haman.

The king ordered that everyone who came into Haman’s presence must bow down to him.

Mordechai wouldn’t bow.

The king’s servants asked Mordechai, “What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you bow?” He told them, “I’m a Jew. Jews don’t bow to anyone but God.” So this villain, Haman, set his mind to destroy not only Mordechai, but also all the Jews in the land. He asked the king for permission to kill all the Jews. King Achashverosh said, “sure, whatever.” They drew pur (lots) to see when it would be done, and it fell on the 12th of Adar.

Letters were sent to all the provinces that, on that day, all Jews should be murdered.

The Jews of Shushan were in an uproar. Mordechai put on sackcloth and ashes and fasted, and all the Jews of the land were weeping and lamenting. Mordechai thought that perhaps because of his niece’s position, she might be able to have influence and get the king to change his decree. He got a message to Esther and said, “Go to the king and beg for your people!”

Esther was terrified. No one could approach the king unsummoned, under penalty of death, not even the Queen. And the king hadn’t sent for her in a month, she told her cousin. His answer came back, “so now you’re such a big shot, you think you won’t die with the rest of us? Listen, mine tokhter (daughter), if you don’t go to him, our rescue will come from somewhere else, but you and your future generations will be lost. And who knows? Maybe you’ve been put here just for this moment! “

Esther pulled herself together and resolved to go. She thought, if I die, I die! She told Mordechai to have all the Jews of Shushan fast for three days. And Esther and her maids did the same.

Not lacking for seychel (brains), she came up with an idea and decided to give it a shot. If the king were to extend his scepter and welcome her, she was sure she could pull it off. If he didn’t, she’d end up like the last queen. Whatever. This was it. On the third day she gussied herself up and off she went.

Cliff hanger! It’s a good thing we’re binge-watching this.

When the king saw his veibele shayne (beautiful wife) standing in the entrance to the inner courtyard, dressed in her finery, he fell in love all over again.

Out came his scepter. She touched the tip.

“What do you desire, my love? Even if it’s half my kingdom, I’ll give it to you!” 

“Kingdom, schmingdom,” she said. “What do I need with half a kingdom? I’m making a nice dinner tonight. I want you should come, and bring your friend Haman with you.”

So they went. They ate, they drank, they shmoozed (chatted)… Again the king asked her what she desired, went through the half-my-kingdom schpeil (story), and again the queen said, “all I want is that you two should again come tomorrow night and I’ll prepare another feast.

Haman was puffed up like a peacock. But on his way out, he saw that Mordechai guy sitting at the gate and as he passed, the nudnik (annoying jerk) didn’t get up or pay him any reverence. What a buzzkill!

That night he gathered his family and friends around him and bragged, “Me and the king? We’re besties! The Queen invited me to a fancy dinner and now she’s invited me to another one tomorrow, just the three of us. But you know … even with this I still can’t be happy because that Jew, Mordechai, won’t bow to me!”

His companions told him, “So hang the guy!” And Haman was so excited with the idea that he ran right out and built gallows.

Next episode.

That night, the king couldn’t sleep. He thought a nice little bedtime read might help, so he called for his book of records.

He read the part where Mordechai had foiled a plot against him, some time before.

“What’s been done to honor this guy?” asked the king of his attendants.

“Ummmm. Nothing,” came the answer.

“And, by the way, who’s that out there in the courtyard? ” he asked.

“It’s Haman.”

“OK, cool. Send him in.”

Haman rushed in excitedly, ready to tell the king all about the gallows and to get this Mordechai swinging so that he could enjoy the feast. But the king cut him off at the pass.

“Haman,” he asked thoughtfully, “What should be done for a man that the King wants to honor?”

For a moment, Haman forgot about Mordechai. He was so sure it was he himself that was going to be honored. So, he said….

“Dress him in the King’s clothes, seat him on the King’s horse, put a royal crown on his head, and parade him around town shouting, this is what’s done for a man who the King wants to honor.”

“Great idea!” said the King. Go find that guy Mordechai who’s always hanging around the gate. Dress him up, put him on the horse, put the crown on his head, and go parade him.”

What could he do? The King ordered, he did.

In the season finale, we find Haman sulking, humiliated. While he’s licking his wounds, the king’s men show up to escort him to Esther’s feast. They eat, they drink, they have a nice time.

Esther is chilling on her divan like a Queen, and again King Achashverosh asks Esther what he can do for her. Again, he’s with the half the kingdom thing. (This guy was totally obsessed with her).

“To tell you the truth, my love, my King, I just want you shouldn’t kill me. And also, I want you shouldn’t kill my people.”

“Kill you?” he asked. “Why should I want to kill you?”

Well…” she told him, “My people have been sold to be murdered.”

“Ach!” he exclaimed. “Who would do such a thing to my favorite squeeze, and to her people? Who’s responsible?” he asked, incensed.

“That guy!” And she pointed at Haman.

The king was furious and shocked.  He got up and went out to his garden to think things through.

 Haman rushed to Esther and fell on her, begging her to spare his life.

 And that’s what the king saw when he came back in. Queen Esther on the divan and Haman on top of his clearly struggling sweetheart.

“Hang him!” screamed King Achashverosh!

And so Haman swung from the gallows he’d built for Mordechai.

The end of the story? Pretty much like the end of most of our stories.

They tried to kill us. We won. Let’s eat.

the story of purim

Want to make your own Purim Feast? Check out my Purim Menu,

with all the recipes you’ll need for a great Purim Seduah

You’ll find my recipe for the World’s Best Hamantaschen, Brooklyn bakery style, here.

Because you know you want that.

CHAG PURIM SAMEACH!