Welcoming Shabbat
Serving Challah
Welcoming Shabbat
The Dinner Table as the Altar
A little history lesson…
Our tradition teaches that the position of the Altar in both the first and second Temples was precisely on the site where the Binding of Isaac took place. Central to our religious rites were the sacrifices performed at this altar by the priests, all of whom were descendants of Aharon, brother of Moses and our first High Priest.
In 70 C.E., the conquering Romans brought down the second Temple, and our people began scattering across the world. Our sages knew that if we were to survive as a cohesive people, we would need something to bind us to one another as securely as Isaac was bound to that rock. Synagogues and Yeshivas could fill in for the Temple as places of worship and learning, and the Siddur, the prayer book with its formalized prayers, could ensure that any Jew could walk into any synagogue in the world and be able to follow the service. But the location of the Altar is immutable. It’s in the Temple, and sacrifices can be performed there and only there.
A new age was dawning. The old ways of sacrifice-centered worship were passing into antiquity in most of the world's religions. Our priests were replaced by Rabbis—teachers ordained by merit rather than birthright. But how could we maintain the transformational, spiritual energy— the blessings, the atonement for sins—that had once come to us through the Temple rites at the Altar? It would have to be something so powerful that, no matter how far the physical cords between us stretched, they would never break.
That conduit is the Shabbat dinner table.
As long as the Jews keep Shabbat, Shabbat will keep the Jews.
What We Envision, We Create
Kabbalah teaches that the seven days of the week correspond to these seven attributes of God: Chesed (Kindness), Gevurah (judgment), Tiferet (Harmony), Netzach (Perseverance), Hod (Humility), Yesod (Foundation), and Malchut (Royalty and the Shechinah, the creative feminine aspect of God manifest in our physical world). As the seventh day, Shabbat is referred to as a Queen and the Bride of Israel.
As you set the table for Shabbat dinner, try to hold in your mind the thought that you’re creating a Holy Altar. Make it beautiful in a way that speaks to you. That could be the traditional white tablecloth, fine china, and crystal glassware, but it doesn’t have to be. Anything that feels festive, elegant, or special to you is perfect. Your focus and intention are the magical tools that will make this space, in this time, sacred.
Set the Table
Set out a Siddur (prayer book) for the person who will chant the Kiddush (the blessing of the Sabbath and the wine.)
If you don’t have a siddur, there are many sources online for the Friday night Kiddush.
Remember to have a corkscrew at the ready if needed. Each person at the table will need a glass for water (or whatever beverage you’re serving) and a cup or glass for wine or grape juice. Flowers on the table are always a nice touch.
In the Temple, there was a special table to hold the Lechem Panim, the twelve loaves of Showbread (literally, the bread of faces). These loaves, set out as an offering, were baked fresh and replaced weekly. On the Altar we’re constructing, two loaves of challah are set on a board. A decorative challah cover should cover the bread if you have one; if not, a simple napkin will do just fine.
Why do we cover the challah?
Challah represents Shabbat, the bride of the people Israel, and so like a bride, challah comes to the altar, veiled. When the cover is removed and the blessing is said, we have unified bride and groom, king and queen. Then, we celebrate with the wedding feast.
During the Exodus from Egypt, a miraculous food, manna, appeared six mornings a week, covered with dew to protect it. The challah represents the manna and its cover represents the dew. Manna didn’t fall on Shabbat, when we’re instructed to refrain from work. Instead, a double portion appeared on Fridays; hence, two loaves of challah. (The seeds that may have been sprinkled on the bread before baking also symbolize the manna that fell from the heavenly realms.)
A small dish or shaker of salt is set down next to the challah board. Any salt will do, but I like to use a specialty salt, to enhance the mood of this being a special time. There are so many fun varieties readily available now.
Why salt? There’s a Midrash (story from the Oral Torah) that tells this story:
The world is one part wilderness, one part settled land, and one part sea. Said the sea to The Creator, "Master of the Universe! The Torah will be given in the wilderness; the Holy Temple will be built on settled land; and what about me?" The Holy One replied "The people of Israel will offer your salt upon the Altar."
Salt was always present on the Altar, to be used in the Temple sacrifice to God. Salt is a necessity for life—without it, our muscles wouldn’t function and our hearts couldn’t beat—and so, salt is required for the "food of The Creator." Salt is the preservative that never spoils. In the Torah, we’re told to offer salt with all sacrifices, so salt should be placed on the table before the blessing over the bread is chanted.
A Beautiful Ritual of Love
When family and friends come to the table, the Kiddush for Shabbat evening is chanted, by a designated leader or by everyone together. Everyone (who is able to) stands and lifts their cup of kosher wine or grape juice. If one person is chanting, the others respond with “Ahmein!” Then everyone takes a sip.
The Kiddush is often thought of as the blessing over the wine. It is that, but it’s also much more. The Kiddush is a sanctification of Shabbat; it’s a reminder of the creation of the world, of our liberation from slavery, and an affirmation of our acceptance of the charge to remember and to honor Shabbat. Then we take a moment to reflect on the importance of every family member. Parents lay their hands on the heads of their children, asking for blessings for their health, happiness, and prosperity, as well as for them bringing honor to their family, to the Jewish people, and to the community at large. Partners honor one another, praising their virtues and asking for blessings for them, as well.
The person who will bless the bread then gets up from the table and washes their hands, pouring water over first the dominant hand, and then over the other hand, twice or three times over each hand according to personal tradition. (In some families, everyone participates in the hand washing.) During this ritual, we try to concentrate on self-purification, of washing away the strains of the week as well as any less-than-admirable choices we might have made. After the pouring of the water, hands are raised chest high while chanting the blessing for hand-washing.
Baruch atah A-donai, Elo-heinu Melech Ha'Olam,
asher kideshanu b’mitzvotav vetzivanu al netilat yadayim.
We call upon you, Adonai our God, Sovereign of Space and Time,
Who has sanctified us with Your commandments,
and commanded us concerning the washing of hands.
And now, it’s quiet time!
After handwashing and before “making haMotzi,” the blessing over the bread, it’s traditional to remain silent. The person who’ll chant the blessing over the challah removes the cover from the loaves and raises them up, one loaf in each hand. They are held together while chanting the blessing.
Tear off, or cut off, a small piece of challah, dip it in salt, and eat it. Now you may speak, as you distribute pieces to everyone at the table, to dip and to eat.
My husband and I once experienced a lovely ritual at a Shabbat dinner in the home of a Chasidic rabbi. The table was “U” shaped with the rabbi and his sons seated on the short, center leg of the U. The men sat on one side of the room, the women on the other (the side nearest the kitchen, of course). It was a little disconcerting for me, and I tried to approach it as a student of anthropology, momentarily setting aside the consciousness of a modern woman accustomed to an egalitarian Jewish community. But then, after the blessings of kiddush and hamotzi, each man stood up and crossed the table to serve his wife some wine and some bread. Now, there are ways in which this could have come off as offensive, sexist, or even demeaning, but every one of these men looked into the eyes of his wife with not only love, but also with awe and adoration that was clearly genuine. It was as though each of them was serving his beloved Queen. They knew what it meant to welcome the Sabbath Bride!
Any night of the week, conversations at the dinner table take on a life of their own as they meander from one topic to the next, but it’s nice to incorporate some discussion of the week’s Torah portion on Shabbat. One way to make that happen organically is to have something in the meal that’s reflexive of the theme of the reading.
(That means you’ve already read it! Wink, Wink.)
Shabbat Shalom!
While challah is the focal point of the Shabbat table, serving challah is not an independent event, but rather just one of the rituals of the Shabbat dinner table. Together, they’re all part of one experience, each inextricable from the next.
For those who observe Shabbat, Friday afternoons can feel hectic. Everyone is rushing around, making preparations. Eighteen minutes before the sun sets on Friday evening, we light the candles and chant the blessing, welcoming Shabbat. Once we’ve done this, anything that hasn’t yet been done will remain undone. The workweek has ended. Shabbat slips into the home like liquid mercury, sliding in under the doors, seeping through the walls. She is here! Some have a custom of opening the door to greet her, and some run outside to meet her on her way, to escort her in like a queen before lighting the candles. Some light the candles and head to a west-facing window or step outside—enjoying a few minutes of contemplation as they watch the setting sun. Find what works for you to enter a state of sacred time.
Traditionally, the mitzvah of lighting Shabbat candles is performed by women. In some families, the “lady of the house” lights and chants the blessing. Either she chants alone or is joined by the other women present. In some gatherings, the woman whose home it is lights two candles while all the other women present also light a candle. One woman can light the candles for everyone, or each woman can light one. If no women are present, it falls to a man, or the men, to light the candles.
Traditions are wonderful, but remember that every tradition starts somewhere, so don’t hesitate to create your own way of doing things within the halacha of Shabbat. What feels right to you may someday be a time-honored tradition for others!
Light the candles. Open your arms wide, encircle the light, and bring it towards you three times. Then, cover your eyes and chant the blessing.
The blessing—
One might expect some lofty message in the blessing we make over Shabbat candles.
But, after all the fanfare, all we’re saying is that, You told us to light candles, so we’re lighting candles. Kind of dull and uninspiring. What’s the point? Why do we need to tell God what we’re doing and why we’re doing it? Doesn’t God Know?
The blessing (an inadequate translation of bracha) is for our benefit, to encourage our focus, to bring the light and an extra soul, a higher soul more capable of receiving Great Truth, our Shabbat soul, into our very being.
The candles are an outward expression.
What we’re doing is kindling the light within ourselves.
Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech Ha’Olam,
Hamotzi lechem min ha-aretz.
We call upon you, Adonai our God, Sovereign of Space and Time,
Who brings forth bread from the earth.
Everyone replies, “Amen!”
Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech Ha’Olam,
Hamotzi lechem min ha-aretz.
We call upon you, Adonai our God, Sovereign of Space and Time,
Who brings forth bread from the earth.
Everyone replies, “Amen!”